Gabby Davison

My life is different then others and it always has been. Ever since I was a kid I’ve felt different and alone and not the same as anyone else. My parents got divorced when I was 7 years old, I didn’t have much of a say in where I went so my mom took me and moved me away from everyone to Baltimore, MD. My whole moms side of the family basically lives there. It was difficult adjusting first, I had to start all over at school and everything. I only ever saw my dad every other weekend and then one weekend I meet this women and her kids and little did I know they would become the best people in my life to this day. Every single time I went to my dads house I felt like I never belonged there when I was younger, it was just the moving back and forth as a little kid, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Now back at my moms house, I was getting bullied at school for being overweight and not being able to physically do things because of an ankle issues. A few months after living in Baltimore, my mom got together with this man who had a drinking issue so then she got sucked into it... it started a little a week and then it continued to grow to every night. We were living with my moms boyfriend and his 2 boys. They were both drinking every night and being shitty towards me and his 2 kids. We then moved to a new neighborhood and this was the one place I ever mostly felt welcomed, with the people there and friends visiting me, plus my cousin who also has a very difficult relationship with her mother ( my moms twin sister ) due to drugs. We both helped each other and we got even closer then we already were. People I met here, I seriously bonded with and I still keep in touch with them. One boy I met there is my best friend to this day and I don’t know what I would do without him. At this point though, I was more so taking care of my mom and myself. We would get into arguments 24/7 she would continuously verbally abuse me telling me that I’m the worst daughter ever or that I should go to hell. There were a lot of times when she would care more about her boyfriend or drinking then me. Of course as a 10-11 year old this was not the best for me. My mom eventually left the man with the drinking issue and got with a man who had a drug problem. Once that started they were both verbally abusing me and at this point in my life I was kind of thinking my life sucks and I hate it. I had a crappy home life and not many friends at school, I was continuously called a whore or fat or ugly at school so that didn’t help either. But that all changed with how I started to look at the world, I realized people had it worse then me and I started to focus on the good and that changed my outlook and I began to think straight. At this point I was 13 and about to start 8th grade, then I realized I did have another option... to move with my dad but doing that meant I left my best friend who I loved dearly and who’s parents knew what I was going through and I basically was there every single week and they treated me like their own daughter. Worst of all though, I would have to leave my family there who I loved so much and didn’t really know how to live without them, I was there for 8 years and I got so close with my cousins and family members. I was always trying to get out of the house and away from my mother and boyfriend. I was either outside with people in the neighborhood and staying out till as late as I possibly could or I was at my best friends house or mostly my cousins house, we got so close we have a bond that literally can’t be broken, we tell each other everything and even though I’m now living in Virginia, I call her every day and continuously talk to her. Her best friend who is basically also my cousin was there for me, they both are and still are today. So when I moved here in 8th grade, I started all over again, I got the fresh start that I wanted and it was difficult adjusting to living at my dads house but now I realized that it is the best thing that I ever did.  at first I was living with 4 other siblings so I was never alone but now it’s just me, and my 2 step sisters but one of them is leaving for college this year and one only lives there part time so it’ll be quiet for a little while. I love my life now, it’s going pretty well and My dad and stepmom treat us all great and I never knew that live was meant to be like this until I moved here because of my mom. Of course sometimes We still have issues but not much I can really do but they’re very supportive and I love them both so much. Growing up being bullied and treated / living differently with a mom who was always drinking and verbally abusing me, she couldn’t ever keep a job and we would we moving from place to place every year or two, sometimes couldn’t afford food or much so I couldn’t really do anything really, I dealt with her drinking and verbal abuse for so long until I finally decided to be strong and leave. This may seem like I’m over exaggerating but dealing with being verbally abused by my mom and being sexually harassed by many boys, it’s a lot worse living with it then what words make it seem. This made me focus on the good In life, made me realize that I don’t need to have much, it also made me realize that I’m so much more then what my mother said and I deserve more then that. It’s made me who I am today, I’m now able to just deal with the stupid comments from people and it’s made me stronger then most people and made me focus on the good in life, it’s made me truly able to deal with difficult times which I know I will have more in life, I’ve dealt with a horrible family life since I’ve been 7 and I’m only 15 now so I know that I have my whole life ahead of me and that I will struggle but having dealt with my mom and her continuously mistreating me, it’s made me see that I can now get through a hell of a lot and I See now that I’m a lot stronger then I thought. Living with all of this has changed me in many ways and it’s made me who I am today, I’m able to deal with the horrible people in life and I’m just able to deal and live my life. At this point I’m kind of just living my life and going along with everything and when something happens I know I can deal with it. Of course I’m still effected by my mom but I just now don’t have to live with her and that’s better then anything. I haven’t seen her in about 2 years now. The most important people in my life is my family now is my dad and stepmom who do so much for me and all my sisters and my brother. I feel like this has made me connect with family more and realize the importance of them all. All of this has also effected me in a negative way, I have anxiety that just sky rockets at random points and I don’t know what to do but I don’t really ever talk about it with many people, I try to just deal with it myself. I also am very insecure about everything and what people think due to the fact that my mother always downgraded me and insulted me. of course everything she did affected me and we definitely do not have a close bond or anything but she is still my mom. She says she’s trying to fix everything that she’s done and that she’s trying to stop drinking. I’m trying my very best to believe her but sometimes you can’t believe it until you see it. Everything that’s happened to me has shaped me into who I am and it may have been difficult but it’s made me see life and work hard for what I want and I’m stronger because of all of it. It’s made me who I am and I’m so grateful for the life I life now and for my family who supports me 100%.